Another very common belief about depression is that there must be a definite “reason” or a specific trigger involved. That, if you can’t identify a loss, a stressful event, or the specific factor that led to you feeling depressed, then your feelings are somehow invalid or that much harder to deal with. Because of this, people sometimes wait to seek help, believing that you must first have your depression “diagnosed” by identifying the specific cause, and that therapy will not work until that happens.
The truth is that it is not uncommon to experience depression without having any particular trigger or “reason” to blame. In fact, there are people who have strong relationships, satisfying careers, outwardly successful lives, yet feel that they cannot pinpoint what is wrong while still experiencing symptoms of depression, including an all pervasive low mood, low energy, lack of desire to do anything and general numbness or feeling of something being “off” or incorrect with them. If this sounds like you, know that you are not the only one, and therapy can still be an incredibly beneficial process.
Addressing Depression Doesn’t Always Have a Clear Cause
The causes of episodes of depression are not always evident, they could includebereavement, problems with your relationships, traumas, stresses relating to your finances,or major life events, but often the onset of depression is much more insidious. There may be no single ‘reason’ why someone feels depressed.
Depression is a complex illness that has many factors at play. These include biological, psychological, environmental and social influences. Such factors may be related to our genes, our brain chemistry, our personality traits, chronic stress, physical health, our past experiences and many other reasons. Sometimes these are added together until a point where symptoms are developed, and there appears to be no cause for that specific episode of depression. Different people suffer from depression in many different ways, and if you do not know what is causing you to feel the way that you do, this does not make your experience less valid.
For months and years at a time people will wonder what could be making them depressed. They will re-examine their life, relationships, and search for an answer, as if they truly believe that naming it is what will cure it.
This journey to finding a reason is weary. People can often tell themselves that:
I “shouldn’t be feeling this way.”
“Nothing really bad has happened to me.”
“Other people have it much worse.”
“I just need to know what is making me sad before I will get better.”
These thoughts often add even more feelings of guilt and exasperation. Often in reality, if you wait for the answer then recovery has still not begun.
How Therapy Helps When You Don’t Know Why You’re Depressed
One great benefit of going to therapy is that you do not have to have a clear understanding of what you feel. That is not what therapy is there to do the therapist doesn’t expect you to have all of your feelings sorted out-it’s there to give you the time and a space to think about your experiences, feelings, thoughts, and behaviours.
Often times, people will come into a session and the best that they can describe how they are feeling is “I don’t know why I feel this way”, and that is exactly where it’s okay to begin. It is through talking through things that you may uncover other underlying reasons as to why you feel the way that you do that may not have been obvious.
There have been people that didn’t realise that they have been carrying feelings of stress, grief, self-loathing, loneliness, or emotional pain for years, and had been unaware of the toll they had been taking. Other people have less of an agenda of trying to find the underlying cause of their issues and more so have the agenda of trying to relieve their symptoms and enhance their own quality of life.
It is common not to have a simple or obvious reason for feeling depressed. Many people experience significant mental anguish, but are unable to pinpoint a specific reason why they are depressed. The unknown can be unsettling, but it does not mean that it is not appropriate to seek support.
You may be able to benefit from therapy to help provide support, understanding, or effective strategies to help overcome your feelings of depression, regardless of what may have led to it. Whether it’s about uncovering underlying patterns, learning to cope with your emotions or rebuilding a connection to others, therapy can provide a space to start getting better. You do not need to understand why you are depressed to reach out for help. By reaching out, you are already acknowledging that you need some support in understanding why you’re feeling the way you’re feeling.
